Doll’s House (Free Dowload Here)
I wrote this song while I was on a week long vacation from work. I was already on the 5th day of my vacation and had written nothing, so I forced myself to sit down and write a song. I immediately started to play the two opening guitar chords (G-D) very high on the guitar neck. I was just playing the rhythm over and over, which got me very excited, because it sounded very new to me. I also thought it sounded very similar to the Smashing Pumpkins and I am a huge fan, still am.
While playing the chords I kept singing “Alone we are, alone we are…” I am not sure why, I just was. I liked it so I kept it in there.
That same day I went to lunch with my close friend, Angel Rivas, and we started to talk about life, women, and our jobs; mostly about the frustration we were feeling at the time and how we felt stuck with all that we were involved with. The conversation we had was the basis for the theme of the song.
The title came from me seeing the world as a mad house, still do to this day, but “Doll’s House” sounds much more catchier and easy on the ear. Besides a doll’s house is what you make of it, a fantasy of some sort, and many people live in a fantasy world don’t they?
For the bridge, I started to imagine being in a large white padded room in a mental hospital and the things I would be saying and feeling. I threw in the “Na, Na, Na, Na” vocals/lyrics in the song to represent a) babble, and b) I wanted a Beatles influence in the song (Hey Jude). To me that part means talking and talking but no one is paying attention or listening.
Chorus – some of my favorite lyrics that I have ever written. I think it flows well and it can mean a lot of different things to many different people. I’ve always had this fascination with straight-jackets, I think they are one of the most scariest devices in the world I have seen or come across. I remember when I was 5 years old, I fell and cut my head open in which I needed stitches. At the hospital I was kicking and screaming not letting the doctor or nurses stitch me up. In order for them to finish their jobs, the nurses rolled the sheets around my arms and legs and held me down so I couldn’t move. Being tied and held down against my will was probably the most uncomfortable, frustrating, and scariest times I have ever had. My muscles started to burn as I was utilizing all my strength to move and I felt like I was suffocating. Anytime I see a straight jacket I am always taken back to that moment in my life.
Here is how I analyzed the verses while writing them:
First verse – being lost in a place where you have no control over and you must play by the rules
Alone we here so hypnotized
Trying to smile with swollen eyes
Sometimes during live shows I’ll change the verse to:
So high we are internalized
Trying to smile with rolling eyes
Second verse – wanting to hear something reassuring from someone you hope to have complete faith in
Speak to me, tell me all that’s true
You know this heart beats only for your
Third verse – knowing that the place your in is not where you belong
I feel the time wearing thin
The walls of my life are caving in
Fourth verse – coming to a realization of what is
My heart is broke, I’m torn and frayed
I’m to young to feel this way
Fifth verse – escaping the reality that you put yourself and using only your imagination
But this will vanish in a dream
I’ll just live in your Doll’s House and let things be
For the recording:
There are 6 different guitars used in the song: 5 electric and one acoustic. The lead guitar in the bridge and chorus I was really trying to convey a sense of a crazy mentality where so much is going on in one’s head and feeling hopeless. That there is so much going on and the only thing one can do is nothing. Its like the last seconds before the explosion hits.
For the drums we double tracked the toms to get the large “boom” sound, one track with regular drum sticks, the other with large mallets. I love toms, remind me of tribal drums before going to war.
If someone were to ask me to describe this song in ten words or less: Having a horrible come down.
Free download next week: Beautiful Muse