I’m doing my best to get back into a routine. Workouts, writing and playing the guitar. I got back into doing Insanity workouts, not the full 6-day per week workout, but at least three times a week with some Yoga mixed in. I’ve been consistent doing my Morning Pages exercises for the past 2 months, and now I need to get back to playing guitar and writing on a more consistent basis. I write a lot, but mostly just bits and pieces of music that I really like. With lyrics, I have the toughest time. I’m never happy with my lyrics, I judge them from all angles. So my songs rarely get finished. Its no secret I would love to be a “professional songwriter” (whatever that means) but I sure don’t act like it. I love the thought process of “Be, Do, Act” that I learned in one of my many self-help books. Which means if you want to be a (insert job title here) then present yourself as that professional, do what that professional would do, and live it out.
Am I being a professional songwriter, only finding about 1-2 hours per week to work on songwriting? Absolutely not. I’m just going through the motions. Pretending to be one. I need to find the passion that got me started in the first place. Its getting back to the beginning. Rekindling the love and finding the reasons why I picked up a guitar in the first place. Its eating, drinking, injecting, snorting, and making love to music. After so many years of fighting through thick and thin and not reaching the summit, I became a little jaded with it all. Hearing and seeing other songwriters/bands become more successful with lesser hearts and talents, I started to wonder if there was even a point to all this. But love is all and love is one.
I don’t do this for the public anymore, I do this to leave a legacy for my children. We are not here forever. What if I leave before my time? I have some great songs on the surface and hidden deep inside of me that may never see the light of day as I wait for the perfect time to present them. I want my children to know who I am and who I was. Look back and see my time and space. The time to fight on is here and now. No more fear, no more lies. Happiness and love surrounds us. Give and take, present and share. If its not good well then fuck it. What the fuck is good and bad anymore anyway? Its all based on opinion. What you like, I may not like. You may not like me, my music, my photos, my face, my writings…but it shouldn’t matter. The Universe, God, loves people who fight and move forward and who takes chances. Not people who are careful and wait for the right time. Now is the right time. Now is the only time. Raise your hands to a new era…Raise your eyes to new light…Raise your voice to be heard…Raise yourself to the world.